Wedding Toasts: who should give one?

When it comes to your wedding, the toasts are a time for friends and family to share their well wishes and sentimental (or humorous) words with the happy couple. But who should you choose to give a toast at your big day? As a destination wedding photographer, I’ll give you a few ideas to consider:

  1. Your best man or maid of honor – These are the people who have been there for you through thick and thin, and they are usually the ones who give the first toast at the reception. They should be able to say a few kind (and hopefully not too embarrassing) words about your relationship and offer their congratulations.
  2. Your parents – Your parents have played a big role in your life, and they may want to say a few words at your wedding. They may want to share some funny stories or offer some advice for a happy marriage.
  3. A close friend or family member – Maybe you have a cousin who is known for their hilarious toasts, or a friend who always knows just the right thing to say. Consider asking one of these special people to give a toast at your wedding.
  4. The wedding party – If you have a wedding party, you may want to consider having each member give a short toast. This can be a great way to involve everyone and hear a variety of perspectives.
  5. You! As the married couple, you might want to give a short thank you toast to those who came to celebrate you.
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Things to consider when choosing who should give a toast at your wedding–

  • Your timeline. Do you have ample time to allow for multiple toasts?
  • Mood. Is having multiple toasts at your wedding something you are excited about?
  • Is this person giving your toast going to stick to your timeline or go overboard for 45 minutes and derail the timeline? (once you go so far off the plan its tough to reel things back, especially if the sun has already set.)
  • Are you going to carefully choose a few people to give toasts, or let it be a free-for-all open mic? (noted, I don’t recommend this unless you have it written into your timeline!)
  • If you have more than one important person but don’t want the time to run too long, you could have them give a toast together. I’ve seen this done so well and everyone enjoyed it!
  • Are you going to assign someone to help keep the toasts timely or just go with the flow?

I’d also recommend setting some boundaries for the toasters, such as keeping anything too embarrassing out of it. Somethings are better left unsaid in front of your entire family. You can even have them run it by a trusted person before the day to make sure its approved. You might be thinking, “wait is that really necessary?” and after hearing many a awkward moment during an embarrassing toast I would have to say yes, yes it is. You can also judge this on a case by case basis who is giving the toast. Some members of your bridal party might need more guidance than others.

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If you’re struggling with trying to make decisions about toasts, remember its YOUR wedding and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to! Overall, the most important thing is to choose people who will add to the atmosphere of your wedding and help make it a memorable occasion.